I find the Hummer H2 to be the most loathesome example of American excess and stupidity, but when seen in this Tokyo garage, jacked up to within an inch of the ceiling, it becomes a sublimely ridiculous autobot, crouching in the shadows waiting for the next decepticon attack.
You have to love the chutzpah of this owner, buying a truck that literally can't fit down most of the side streets in Tokyo, and guzzles gas like a mechanical Godzilla. The addition of the winch --which I am sure has never been used-- is the cherry on top. Sure, the H2 a refreshing middle finger to stifling Japanese conformity, but one wonders if the joke might just be on the owner here...
We don't talk a whole ton about Japanese cars here at Automobiliac. Not that I have anything against them, but I can count on the fingers of one hand (maybe two) the Japanese cars that get me really excited. Thankfully nearly all of them are on display in one place: The Venus Fort in Tokyo! Venus Fort may sound like a border town brothel where girls wear chaps and six-guns and little else, but it's also the name of an enormous outlet mall in Tokyo Bay that is situated in the former location of a battery that guarded the port from enemy ships. The mall itself is a rather cheap imitation of the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace, which is of course an expensive imitation of a Roman streetscape. I started to question why my Japanese companion would bring me to such a place when there are so many fine malls in Tokyo. My questions were soon answered when we rounded a corner to discover a Mazda Cosmo sitting there in all its low-slung glory. Now I had never thought much of the Cosmo from photos, but in person the car is so low and so sleek, it makes your jaw drop. It's spectacular --at once very vintage and incredibly fresh. The car has some American and some European motifs blended together very interestingly. It's almost like an Alfa Duetto mated with a '63 Ford Thunderbird and had this surprisingly beautiful offspring.After admiring the Cosmo for a few precious minutes, we ventured further inside and discovered room after room of JDM (Japanese Domestic Market) cars that I had never seen before. It's always a treat for me to see and learn about cars I have no knowledge of so this trip was a real treat. In the back of the main room was the crown jewel of any Japanese car collection: a Toyota 2000GT. I don't think I had ever seen one of these amazing cars in person before either. With only 337 produced, they are rare as metric hens' teeth, so I spent quite some time admiring the car's exquisite proportions. I came away with my opinion cemented: The 2000 GT is the finest sports car Japan has ever produced and probably ever will. And given the astronomical prices they command these days, I think collectors agree with me.Also in the back of the museum is a shop for collectors called "Grease." They carry a huge range of models in every scale, organized by country and by marque. There is also a wide array of literature in both English and Japanese. It was pretty overwhelming and I suddenly started feeling foreign money burning a hole in my pocket. To extinguish that fire I dropped some smoldering cash on a very cool book detailing the history of the 2000GT.Another section of the museum features American and European cars, but in this context, who cares, right? Downstairs there was some more JDM magic in the form of an original Nissan Skyline GTR sitting outside in the courtyard and looking very thuggishly hot. The GTR was accompanied by a Lotus Elan as well as a Le Mans Toyota racing car, which was shaped like a glossy red whale from outer space. There was also a coffee shop downstairs inexplicably named after Alessandro Nannini. The cafe was filled with F1 nosecones and other memorabilia, but the highlight was a glass vitrine through which you could look into the museum's restoration workshop. If anyone can identify the car on the left being worked on, I'd love to know what it is.Needless to say, the Venus Fort was a highlight of my trip. In addition to the museum, which I believe is owned by Toyota, there is also an immense Toyota experience space called the Mega Web, featuring all of the company's latest models. It's like a permanent auto show booth, and you can even test drive the cars on a closed trail outside the mall. Check out my whole gallery HERE. I apologize that some of the photos aren't up to my ideal artistic standards. The lighting in the museum is particularly bad for photography.
The Eddie Irvine video down below reminded me that at Suzuka in 1993, The Ligier of Martin Brundle had one of the prettiest sponsor liveries in F1 history. The abstracted "Gitanes" cigarette paint scheme took over the whole car and the effect was utterly beautiful while partially obscuring the brand name in keeping with the ever-tightening tobacco sponsorship laws of the early 90s. For sheer purity of form and design, you can't really beat the F1 cars from 1990-94. That was when Ferraris were still almost completely crimson red, McLarens looked like a Marlboro packet, and who can forget the first year of Rothmans sponsorship on the Williams-Renault?
As most longtime F1 fans will recall, Eddie Irvine's F1 debut at Suzuka in 1993 saw him put in a sensational drive for Jordan. Despite his youth, Irvine's experience at the Japanese track was evident, due to his stint in Japanese F3. What made this race famous, however, was what happened later after this magnificent battle:
Ayrton Senna was the race leader, but due to poor conditions and tire choice, he was unable to cleanly lap both Irvine and Hill, who were battling tooth and nail for position. Senna was therefore held up behind this battle which he had no stake in, as Prost gradually reeled him in. Ultimately Senna won the race, but he felt the need to lecture Irvine about his rash behavior. The Brazilian champion famously punched the Irishman in the face after a tense exchange of words. I never knew it until now, but the dialogue leading up to the punch was in fact caught on tape by a reporter who was present in the room! Enjoy this transcript!
Senna : What the **** do you think you were doing?
Irvine : I was racing!
Senna : You were racing? Do you know the rule that you’re supposed to let the leaders come by when you’re a back marker?
Irvine : If you were going fast enough, it was no problem.
Senna : I overtook you! And you went three times off the road in front of me, at the same place, like ****ing idiot, where there was oil. And you were throwing stones and all things in front of me for three laps. When I took you, you realised I was ahead of you. And when I came up behind Hill, because he was on slicks and in difficulties, you should have stayed behind me. You took a very big risk to put me out of the race.
Irvine : Where did I put you in any danger?
Senna : You didn’t put me in any danger?
Irvine : Did I touch you? Did I touch you once?
Senna : No, but you were that much from touching me, and I happened to be the ****ing leader. I HAPPENED TO BE THE ****ING LEADER!
Irvine : A miss is as good as a mile.
Senna : I tell you something. If you don’t behave properly in the next event, you can just rethink what you do. I can guarantee you that.
Irvine : The stewards said “No problem. Nothing was wrong.”
Senna : Yeah? You wait till Australia. You wait till Australia, when the stewards will talk to you. Then you tell me if they tell you this.
Irvine : Hey, I’m out there to do the best for me.
Senna : This is not correct. You want to do well. I understand, because I’ve been there I understand. But it’s very unprofessional. If you are a back marker, because you happen to be lapped …
Irvine : But I would have followed you if you’d overtaken Hill!
Senna : You should let the leader go by …
Irvine : I understand that fully!
Senna : … and not come by and do the things you did. You nearly hit Hill in front of me three times, because I saw, and I could of collected you and him as a result, and that’s not the way to do that.
Irvine : But I’m racing! I’m racing! You just happened to …
Senna : You’re not racing! You’re driving like a ****ing idiot. You’re not a racing driver, you’re a ****ing idiot!
Irvine: You talk, you talk. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Senna : I was in the wrong place at the wrong time?
Irvine : Yes. I was battling with Hill.
Senna : Really? Really? Just tell me one thing. Who is supposed to have the call? You, or the leader of the race who comes through to lap you?
Irvine : The leader of the race.
Senna : So what have you done?
Irvine : You, you were too slow, and I had to overtake you to try to get at Hill.
Senna : Really? How did I lap you if I was too slow?
Irvine : Rain. Because on slicks you were quicker than me, on wets you weren’t.
Senna : Really? Really? How did I come and overtake you on wets?
Irvine : Huh?
Senna : How come I overtook you on wets?
Irvine : I can’t remember that. I don’t actually remember the race.
Senna : Exactly. Because you are not competent enough to remember. That’s how it goes you know.
Irvine : Fair enough. Fair enough. That’s what you think.
Senna : You be careful guy.
Irvine : I will. I’ll watch out for you.
Senna : You’re gonna have problems not with me only, but with lots of other guys, also the FIA.
Irvine : Yeah?
Senna : You bet.
Irvine : Yeah? Good.
Senna : Yeah? It’s good to know that.
Irvine : See you out there.
Senna : It’s good to know that.
Irvine : See you out there …
Appearing to turn away Senna then turns and punches Irvine with his left hand landing on the right side of Irvine’s head. Irvine loses his balance and falls off the table. Senna is still shouting as he is hustled away.
Irvine: Insurance claim there!
Senna (leaving) retorts “You got to learn to respect where you’re going wrong!”
Here's a video I had to share just for its sheer surrealism. Imagine you are driving along a Japanese highway and come across an Alitalia-liveried Lancia Stratos in the other lane. Now imagine you happen to be driving your own Martini-liveried Lancia Delta HF Integrale...too cool!
Here is a wonderfully dreamy little video from the same youtube account from inside the Stratos, along with a pleasing Hip-Hop beat. This guy is really adept at taking awesome footage with one hand while driving with the other!
Sunday, December 11, 2011 at 9:02PM 
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